So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
