okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
