two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
