Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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