I'm going to jail i love you
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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