did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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