so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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