is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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