I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
