wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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