You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
