You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
