I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
