in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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