omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize