You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize