he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
the raccoons are back...
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