you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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