haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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