Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
