It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
