You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
