Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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