i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
