it was like his penis was on wheels.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
