pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
