this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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