Your tits are I can't wait for
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
