she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize