she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
