She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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