He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
