You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
