Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
