so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
