Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
