So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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