Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize