i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
