it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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