That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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