I'm really into asian looking animals
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
