If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
