Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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