Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
