i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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