Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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