they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
