listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
