Do you still have your period?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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