god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
