i just sent this text using only my big toe
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
