i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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