Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
