I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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