this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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