It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
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