look no pants
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
