dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
